WFRP: Cemetary Polka

In my mind, Altdorf is a mad place, a cacaphony of bizarre antics of depraved individuals with warped motivations set against the backdrop of a world insane. And on top of that people are stupid and greedy. And there is no one better to capture that than Tom Waits. An acquired taste, I guarantee you, but to me  nothing says WFRP in Altdorf in music more than the Cemetary Polka.

And now the lyrics, adapted to the Old World

Cemetary Polka, by Thomas Warten

Uncle Werner, uncle Werner, independent as a hog on ice

He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse

Plays accordion for old Herr Weiss

Uncle Berthold, uncle Wilhelm

Made a fortune selling halfling pies

But they're tightwads and they're cheapskates

And they'll never give a klank to us 

Auntie Mame has gone insane

She lives in the doorway of an old hostel

And the guests are singing opera

All she ever says is "Go to hell!"

Uncle Violet sailed as a pilot

Never gave the pretty girls a glance

Now he runs a tiny little book shop

They say he never keeps it in his pants

Uncle Schill will never leave a will

And the tumor is as big as an egg

He has a mistress, she is Kislevitan

And I heard she has a wooden leg

Uncle Willi can't live without his pills

He is hard of hearing and he's almost blind

And we must find out where the money is

Get it now before he loses his mind

Uncle Werner, uncle Werner, independent as a hog on ice

He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse

He plays accordion for old Herr Weiss

/Magnus